Back to Egypt - this time to start a new life :)

Like a schoolgirl... like a schoolgirl with her homework done from before... yes that was me in the day I went back to Egypt to start a new life, a totally new life...to get married and start to have a family...having new challenges and new responsibilities, new ideas and new dreams...and this time, all these things build and create with my beloved husband...


Before leaving in Egypt for marriage... I passed through all the possible moods ever... believe me I cross all these from happiness to despair, from excitement to fear, from curiosity to "Don't wanna know it" mood and even to "I can't do this" mood :))))))))))))))))... I'm speaking here about the marriage issue :-j... while my beloved husband was every day one step close to become insane...


In the last week before I leave for marriage I had almost every day a pre marital crises :))))))))))))) ... I was not able to pack nothing until the last day :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))... when I took the suitcases and keep throwing fast the clothes on it :D :D :D... Yeah... I think you can imagine me while I was jumping on the suitcases to be closed :)))) and even push my clothes inside using the leg :P.


Why all those moods and pre marital crises??? The fear about the unknown... the fear that from single woman and independent one I will become something what I never wanted... addicted... addicted to a man... While all my life I was raised never to depend on someone, especially on a man. So in my mind I was having the idea that marriage means addicted and that goes to depend on a man and that leads to lose my quality of independent woman! 

I was thinking that all these come with the marriage... while me I was already cached from the day I met my husband and I love to be cached by him... I loved it all the time otherwise I wouldn't last in the previous 2 years before we married, during the friendship relation and engagement relation too. But I was thinking that marriage is that big BOO! scary thing that put you inside of a box and never let you free! And Gemini are well known for their love for freedom and independence... this is why they marry so late and if they marry in youngest age, before 25... either they don't last in those marriages, either they become miserable unhappy because they are not mature enough to understand the responsibilities of a marriage commitment. To tell you the truth Gemini are never mature enough for BIG DEALS of the life... because they are all the time CHILDREN... even in 80's... but Gemini DO LEARN with the time passing how to behave in certain situations and how to deal with the challenges of life... and even if sometimes they are doing this in a childish way, they succeed to have a pleasant result. 

So me, the addicted Gemini and the independent woman and the crazy child, arrived finally in the end in Cairo (with a few hours earlier I was calling my husband to tell him that I' m coming :))))), that thing took a heavy weight from his chest and he started to breath and thank Allah for HIS power on me and for the power and protection that HE put over us and our blessed relationship).

While I was still in the airport, before leaving... I saw like a huge group of people going in the same direction with me... so AlhamdulilAllah Egypt is back for business :) the tourism will rise again! Ya ALLAH ALHAMDULILALLAH!

A huge group and a lady... near to my age... she was going in Egypt to attend her friend wedding... and she was nervous coz she was alone... her husband remain home with the kid because of the school thing and also because of the job and the business... The lady, Ema, she was kind and sweet :) as also very polite... when she saw me going in the same direction... she was more than relax and she started to thank God because she found another person to travel. 


The people from the tourists group were already in their business, while me and her we were traveling abroad, one to her wedding and the other one to a friend's wedding :).


We started to chat and we were speaking about all the things... including Egypt of course - life and people from there... as well as about our families. We exchanged phone numbers (now I remember that I didn't call her since long time)... and we were enjoying every moment from the traveling time. We asked sits together on the plain and that was good, because really the plain was full :))))))))).

When we reached Egypt, I was starting to feel my heart beating so fast... so so so fast... like I was a rabbit chased by a fox... I knew that I am about to meet my husband and that he is waiting for me to come... and that we will marry and I will be an Ex MISS... 


Me and my new friend Ema we complete the documents and we crossed the boarder... and here he was there waiting for me as the first time... waiting me to come... waiting his bride... his aroosa... my aris :* :* :*...


I saw my husband from far away... and I was keep coming fast to him... I met first time his eyes and I never saw a happiness in someones eyes like I see when I look to my husband! SUBHANALLAH!

He hugged me strong and kiss my front head and keep thanking to Allah that HE brought me safe to him :)... I introduced him Ema, which was already worried because the family of her friend didn't arrive yet to the airport to pick her up... and they were late... well... my husband and I we stayed with her in the airport ... I think like an hour to make sure that she will be safe and not let her alone there... it is not really a perfect image to be left alone while you wait scared to be taken from a place!


My husband also spoke on the phone with the family of her friend and told them exactly where to come with the car and he also spoke with a police officer to help him finding the car that was coming to take Ema. So the police officer was asking all the black cars coming in front of the airport if they are here to pick someone and who they are waiting to pick ;))... the police officer was nice and so polite and he helped us much that night :) in the issue with Ema :).


After an hour, the family arrived in the airport (they were coming not from so far, but they were just not appreciate well the time until the airport, the traffic and the rounds took until they reached the right building of the airport). Well that happen to me too first time when I met my husband... I remember I cross the border and I was expecting to see already my husband... while he was not there  :O :O :O... he was waiting me in another part... yes still Terminal 1... but Departures place :)))) :D :D :D... so I understand what Ema felt when she came out and she didn't see them :). It's seems to me or this thing with "losing" people in the airport is typical Egyptian :P... but just from men as I see... because in her case too was the fiance of her friend that was driving the car :D :D :D...

AlhamdulilAllah, they arrived and Ema was finally breathing relaxed and she was keep thanking us for the help and keep excusing to us because she kept us busy with her problem. No haram in this! AlhamdulilAllah that she is safe and we were there to help her :).


We left Ema in good hands and we back to our "business" :) and before leaving to Alexandria we took a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong breath and time just for the two of us... we sit and we started to speak and to look to each other like it was the first time we saw each other... we started to look to picture albums with my family and speak about all the moment from our life since we met each other and even from before... we did this many times before... but this time it was like a previous necessary thing before the marriage... and we took long time sharing things...

But after a while, I got hungry :)))))))))))))))) because of the stress on me in the last days I hardly was eating and in the last 2 days before traveling I wasn't able to eat nothing. But finally, at 4:30 in the morning I felt hungry. So we ate to a coffee shop from the airport and after this, we started our life journey to Alex... I say life journey because we were both walking now on the road to marriage :) ALHAMDULILALLAH :).

Marriage like a speed race - What papers you need to marry in Egypt?

Bismillahi Rahmanu Rahim

Knowing that many foreign girls are getting married more and more with men from Egypt, I decided myself to write about the entire story and steps of the marriage, all what you have to know and respect so that you marry without problems and without loosing time and money (both are precious, especially time).

My beloved husband and I we closed the marriage in Alexandria/ Egypt, because he is from Alex, so as you could noticed already, I am the foreign girl :D... or I was, coz now, after my husband's words: "I am a Madam"... me I prefer to say: "EX - MISS" it sounds more close to what I was before... Miss ;).

So here we start and I will start with documents for the foreign girl.

I must say to you from the beginning that as I saw, the rules from Alexandria are different than the rules in Cairo and you will see why :).

We started to prepare our papers with 2 weeks before my coming in Alexandria (me) and my husband with 3 weeks before my coming there... me from my hometown and my husband from his hometown too. 

First documents that I took were from the City Hall of my hometown: the International Birth Certificate and the Certificate of Celibacy - which was proving that I was not married before and I am free to marry, without any objection.

So I went to the office of Marital Status from the City Hall and I complete there 2 forms: 1 for the International Birth Certificate and the second for the Certificate of Celibacy. Also to obtain the International Birth Certificate you have to hand over the old one.

After this, I went to the office where you pay the taxes and I payed there 2 bills - 1 for each document I was about to take. 

Although, the usual term to get these documents is like 7 working days or even more, the officer from the Marital Status office was extremely kind and she helped me with these documents in just 1 hour!!!!! Allah bless her and give her rewards on Earth and in Jannah! This thing proves once again that people from the area I come are really WONDERFUL (P.S. this has nothing to do with me :P I am out from this topic; I speak only about the rest of the people there)!!!!

I must tell you girls and to you also guys, that I arrived in my hometown early in the morning with bags and all things coz I stayed like 5 days there with my parents at home (Easter time which I can t skip it at all!!!!!!); after I put my feet in my little hometown, I left my bags to my aunt office and I went to fix all documents that I was need and AlhamdulilAllah AlhamdulilAllah AlhamdulilAllah Allah helped me and I did it!

After I took my papers, I finally went home to my mama that she was waiting for me since hours to arrive home, not to mention my dad, that he was at work :).

Immediately after Easter passed, I went to the Treasury also in my hometown to pay a consular fee, that was necessary to obtain the legalization of my Celibacy Certificate from the Ministry of External Affairs. Why I had to pay it in my hometown? Because I had to pay this fee where I have my residency and even if I don t live anymore in my hometown, I didn t change my address (now I know why). I don't want even to imagine through what other girls from the capital were passing because of bureaucracy from big cities!

After I payed this fee, I was ready to come back to the capital to go with my Certificate of Celibacy to be legalized. I prepared here a "slim" file: the bill payed to the Treasury, the Certificate of Celibacy, copy after my ID, copy after the Certificate of Celibacy and I went to the Ministry of External Affairs.

There it is also a very nice lady which said to me: Congratulations because I had all the papers in order as it suppose to be and she legalized my Certificate of Celibacy in 10 minutes :). AlhamdulilAllah AlhamdulilAllah :).

I didn t legalize my International Birth Certificate because it is not necessary to do this!

With my papers done, my passport and my ID too with me, I was ready to leave in Egypt to get married :).

Let's pick an eye and see what my husband had to do in all this time :)... because he had a lot of things to do too :)

My husband did all his papers in Alexandria, without need to go to Cairo as I heard that it was requested to others from other cities and this was due to the fact that in Alexandria it is also a Ministry of Justice and Ministry of External Affairs too.

Necessary papers for the Egyptian citizen:

• Birth certificate (Milada)
• Record (fish basamat)
• Certificate of marital status (sura qaid fardy)

All have the stamp of RA Egipt Justice Ministry, Foreign Ministry RA Egipt.

I advise all the girls to speak with their fiances to go and to ask all details before starting the marriage steps - to go and to ask everything in the office of Ministry of Justice. My husband did this and he received a lot of help from there (all contrary to what it was before the revolution). 

So, my beloved husband is a real support for me and he was beside me in all the steps and he involved I can say in maximum level to help me and he really is my half!  My husband Karim went to the Ministry of Justice and he spoke with the officer from the marriage office and he went there not just once, but 3 times, to make sure everything will be all right and to make sure that he has all the dates exactly and also to make appointment for our marriage (which in the end was not necessary, because all we had to do was to go early in the morning in the day they were closing the marriages - you have to ask about the schedule of the Ministry of Justice too).

My husband note first time all the things on a paper and surprise:D. The officer asked him if I am a Muslim or not - which I am - so when he heard that I am a Muslim - he told to my husband that for me all I need to marry with him is my passport, my pictures (5 in number) and the Certificate of Muslimah from El Azhar (I will tell you about this certificate later). NOTE: the non Muslims girls do need their Certificate of celibacy and the International Birth certificate! 

The officer told him that because I am a Muslim I don't need no Certificate of Celibacy...  of course me I was saying to my husband: "NO WAY!! NO WAY!!! From my embassy they said that I need it and not just this the International Birth Certificate too! That officer from the Ministry of Justice don' t know what I need" (I will develop why I was SO SURE that I need all these papers and why I was freak out that the time will not be enough to close the marriage... the authorities from my country played a big role in this direction).

First time, the officer forgot to tell my husband that I also need a medical certificate that proves I am ready for marriage and nothing forbids me to marry (which is not a bad thing to do it at all) and this is also need for the future husband too. What the husband needs more beside the papers I said before? Oh yes: 5 pictures also and a stamp for marriage that he has to buy it - this will be used on the marriage contract that remains to the Ministry of Justice.

Believe me: GO AND ASK before starting to do something! and dont forget to take a notebook with you so that you write all to be able to read it later again!

P.S.: I got tired of typing :)))))))))))))))  

After my husband took his papers already stamped from the Ministry of Justice and Ministry of External Affairs, he took the papers in Cairo to the translator from there, to translate it from Arabic, for my Embassy. He did all the steps before I come, so that we save time, which is very precious in delicate moments like marriage issue.

And here it is... the day of my coming arrived and the last steps of marriage too :). I arrived in Cairo Friday by night and in the morning in Alexandria (very important: on Saturday we went to the office for foreigners in Alexandria to take my visa for residency which is absolutely necessary for marriage; we took it in 10 - 15 minutes with no head aches and no costs)  already on Sunday we came back again in Cairo with our brother Ahmed. All 3 we went to the Azhar for foreigners in Cairo - because that is the only institution from Egypt who gives the Muslim certificates to the foreigners. In Alexandria it is el Azhar too, but it is not authorized to give these documents.

You will see again how much Allah helped us in all the steps and HE was there with us to give us a lift to cross the obstacles! AlhamdulilAllah, praised be to Allah!

We reached el Azhar early in the morning and you have to know that el Azhar for the foreigners it is a little up than the general Azhar. We reach there and the sheik received us and I tell you I was not the only one there to get the Muslim Certificate (speaking about this - I was already Muslim from my country and I have a Certificate from the Mosque Mohammed II too, so our road there was just to complete the marriage steps) (I will speak about the experience from el Azhar in another topic, but I assure you it was MAGICAL, like in a fairy dream).

We took the Muslimah Certificate in the same day - although it suppose to be over a week (which can cause you delays and change all your schedule), but Allah opened and soften the heart of the sheik and they made all the formalities for me too and signed the papers so I can take the certificate in the same day. For el Azhar I need it 2 witnesses (which I had - my husband and our brother Ahmed), 2 pictures and my passport; the witnesses also need it their ID to be written there their details. 

I received from el Azhar 2 Muslim Certificates: one in Arabic and one in English :), Masha Allah I was so happy and my husband too, like it was the first time I was saying el Shahadda :).

We return to Alexandria on the same day - just for the night and not even that complete, because we left again Monday to my Embassy where I had an appointment (I did this appointment by e mail and phone too with 2 weeks before) to take there my International Birth Certificate and Certificate of Celibacy, my husband's Certificate of Celibacy too (translated from Arabic) (although I said to you that the officer from the Ministry of Justice said to my husband that I don t need all these papers because I am a Muslim; but also when I was calling to my Embassy and when I was sending e-mails to the Consul - the answer was: "Yes you need all those documents" - not to mention that the Consul said to me that the time I give to all the formalities it is too short, because we have to do many steps (but our authorities should update from time to time because things might change and could be differences between Cairo and Alexandria - as we saw; besides of this, the fees they ask are extremely high for 3 stamps on some papers that are already authenticated by much more high authorities than the Embassy).

ADVICE: Prepare yourself from before wt 1000$ for all the marriage steps for both husbands!

So we went to the Embassy and I gave them the papers, I payed an emergency fee so that all be done in 48 h... so that in the end I take these papers after we married :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))... because none asked about these in Ministry of Justice :).

We came back to Alexandria and in the next day we went to do our medical check - and here again SUBHANALLAH the doctors gave to us the certificates in the same day :) (my husband fixed all with calm and diplomacy and he crossed all the obstacles and he never lost his hope in Allah and he was always encouraging me and I felt him close so close to my heart and to my soul).


Let's have a revision now:


ME: passport with residency visa, 5 pics, Certificate of Muslimah from el Azhar in Cairo, medical certificate

My husband: ID, 5 pics, Birth certificate, stamp for marriage, medical certificate (just in case we took with us his passport too- but they didn t ask for this).

AND YOU NEED TOO A TRANSLATOR FOR YOU - IT MUST BE A TRANSLATOR FOR A LANGUAGE THAT YOU KNOW AND THE TRANSLATOR MUST BE AUTHORIZED (this means that on his ID he/ she will have written there that it is TRANSLATOR).

WE WENT TO GET MARRIED early in the morning in the Ministry of Justice (I advise you all to go there before 10:00 - we were there with mama and baba and our bro Ahmed around 8:30 and we left at 13:00, even that we were the first couple they attended from the all 3 that went there to marry that day - but we had so many papers to write there - my husband, baba and Ahmed as also the officer from the marriage office were keep writing to our contract marriages - 5 copies and all had to be the same :D ).

ALHAMDULILALLAH we married and we are grateful to Allah and to all people that helped us so much! Hope I didn t forget something - in any case - if I did... I will come back and complete... :) I ll ask my husband to read it once too so that we make sure I wrote here all the necessary details.

What husbands need from their wives?

In no particular order, here are ten things that many husbands often want from their wives.

Note that these are "wants" -- not emotional needs. As individuals, we are each responsible for filling our own emotional needs.

We believe that the four basic emotional needs are the need to be loved and to love; the need to belong; the need for a good self-image; and the need for autonomy. 

1. Believe in His Capabilities

Many men believe it is important for them to protect and provide for those they love. Let him know that you believe in his talents and skills and are supportive of him.

2. Understanding

One of the ways you can both tell and show your husband that you want to understand him is by making a commitment to daily dialogue with him. Daily dialogue only takes 20 minutes out of your day. Isn't your husband worth 20 minutes each day?

3. Affirmation of His Accomplishments

Most guys like to be patted on the back. Compliment your husband often. Just don't over do it with sicky sweet oozes of how great he is. That type of affirmation will backfire.

4. Acceptance

Many husbands are hurt and angered when their wives try to change them. Realize that the only person that you can change is yourself.

5. Less Chatter

If your husband is tired, or involved with a project, and you really want to talk to him about something, get to the point. If he wants the details of the topic, he will ask for them.

6. Affection

Hold your husband's hand in public, leave a message of love on his voice mail, massage his shoulders, give him an unexpected kiss. Men like to be romanced too!

7. Respect

Show respect for your husband by not making negative comments about his thoughts and opinions, by being considerate of his plans, and by avoiding the "eye roll" when listening to him.

8. Free Time

Most everyone has a desire for some quiet time alone, and time to re-energize, regroup, and reconnect. When your husband first gets home from work, allow him some free time to unwind. Don't over-schedule his days off with projects around the house.

9. Trust

Trust is vital in the success of a marriage. If you are having doubts about your husband and find it difficult to trust him, seek counseling and not spying.

10. To Be a Companion

Hopefully, you can say that your husband is not only your lover, but also your friend. Staying friends and companions through the years requires that you find ways to make time together and to do things together.

Guys, pay attention to the women from your lives!

So we all read the articles on how to "Make her Happy," and to "Keep her for life." But have you ever thought of how to show her that she means the world to you? We as women, often hear "I love you" alot, and adore it. But what we want is to be shown that we are adored, as women, but also as individuals. No hate when this is stated, but sometimes men forget to treat us with the upmost love. They don't do everything that we fell in love with at the beginning, and all we have now is a guy who became comfortable with us and thinks that we aren't going anywhere. Well here's some help for you guys to show her that she DOES mean the world to you!

 

 STEPS

1. The Little Things mean alot. Most men don't get this concept, most think that women want the biggest and baddest things. Which is true, some do. But most women love to be told of how much you love them in the small examples. Some ideas are a handwritten card, a few roses, a unexpected phone call just to check up on us, or just a simple text saying that you were thinking of us. Those things make women feel like they have the best men in the world.

2. Don't put your guy friends over your lady. Yes, there is a time and place for you to spend time with the guys, but women feel forgotten and unimportant when you decided to spend her time with your guys. Make time with your guys BUT let your lady know far ahead in advance so she feels like you remembered her as well.

3. When you're hurt, let her fix it. Women are natural born fixers. They magically heal the little boy's scrapes and bruises with a single kiss, and the cut finger with a simple band aid and hug. Females have this magical ability to take what is hurt, and broken, and put it back together. But guys, the longer you wait to let her fix it, the more she feels incompetent because she's made to do things like this.

4. Don't always stay at home. Take your woman out on a date, and don't ask. When you start to ask her and let her decide all the time, it takes the romantic feelings out of the date.

5. Women LOVE surprises. Females love to have their guy do things without them having to ask and hint multiple times. They love it when guys take the lead and don't always have to be asked or told.

6. Women don't like to feel used. Here's the Raw in this sentence: Guys tend to sometimes have women do things for them, to then forget about that women and go on with his thought processes. It's a big no-no. Women want to be kept, and remembered. Not do something for their man because he begs, and then to be given a smidge of time later. In a relationship for a women in her head, it's not going to go very well after that.

7. Tell her you love her. Women think that the word 'Love' is more than you wanting sex, or you just saying it. Simple ways of telling her that she's beautiful -not cute because that's reserved for pre-teens- or holding her close, showing ways that you're thinking of her, will offer her more than one reason to know that she is loved.

8. Last but not least, Don't forget how fragile your woman is. Sometimes women may act like they're tough on the inside and out, but they're not. Their heart's are fragile, and they take things to heart. They're emotional which sometimes comes off as being dramatic, when actually they're only doing what they know best on how to express their feelings. Simple harsh words to a woman can make or break her, and easily kill her heart. When you ignore a woman, it can break her hope in you. Our trust can easily be given, and then never be shown again. Yes, guys are fragile in their own ways too, but females were made in a way that a man cannot know. So guys, treat your woman like it's the last day on earth you have to spend alive.

Advices:

• Say I Love You Often, as well as show it in your actions.
• Give her compliments.
• Tell her how much she means to you.
• Give her the small things in life, and she will give you the world.
• Remember her no matter what.

Warnings:

• Don't use anything just to be intimate with a lady, she will never trust you again.
• Don't stop being what she fell in love with the first time she met you, or she will feel like she doesn't matter.
• Don't throw something back in her face, she will act like she's fine but it will cut her deeper than you know.

Long Distance Relationships

Tips on Long-Distance Relationships 

 

 

 

For people in long-distance relationships, it often does not make much of a difference if the partners live a few hours, or a few days’ distance, away from each other. Maintaining and supporting a loving, trusting relationship, compounded with the fact that the partners do not spend their daily lives together, can be overwhelming at times, and wrought with challenges and setbacks. Yet long-distance relationships can still facilitate valuable opportunities for partners to experience growth, maturity and bonding together. Here are a few tips for making your relationship special and meaningful through the tough separation periods:

1. Practice being respectful, honest and trusting with your partner and with yourself. Since you aren’t interacting and experiencing in each other’s daily lives on a regular basis, you may be thinking thoughts that aren’t always clearly communicated or directly put out in the open for discussion and reflection. As in any relationship but especially for long-distance, listening in a caring manner and honesty is a crucial component for facilitating trust with your partner. The more you voluntarily offer information and communicate empathy and what you’re feeling and reflecting about the relationship, the more your partner will feel secure and prompted to open up as well. 

2. Frequent communication is an important element of long-distance relationships. Every relationship is different, but the advantage of talking or checking in with your partner at least once each day can provide a stabilizing force to a relationship that often may be unpredictable due to different schedules, responsibilities, or time-zones. Even if only for a few minutes, a simple phone call enables you hear your partner’s voice and share details or updates about each other’s lives. Also, checking in with each other allows you to always have something special to look forward to in the course of your day, and to plan and discuss your next reunion! 

3. Bonding and nurturing emotional intimacy questions means being there for each other: “What was the most exciting/annoying part of your day?” “Tell me a story/memory about when you were (a certain age).” “Do you have any concerns or worries about our relationship?” “How are you feeling about us now?” 

4. Making use of different technology is one of the bonus features of long-distance relationships. Couples are not limited to phone calls (though cell phones and “free night and weekends” plans do make talking on the phone for hours much cheaper and more convenient). To add an element of surprise and spice to your long-distance relationship, make the effort to send your partner a short email or text message expressing your feelings or just a sweet and simple “I love you”. The Internet also provides dozens of free “e-greeting cards” with which you can communicate almost any emotion to your partner in a cute animated and musical card or with old-fashioned phrases. Writing letters via “snail-mail” can be romantic and also a keepsake memento for those times you’re both feeling lonely or missing each other, or a surprise for a special occasion. 

5. In a long-distance relationship, it’s often easy to misinterpret, misunderstand, or discount your partner’s feelings, words or actions on account of the difficulty of communication, clarity of intent or effort as contrasted with that of regular dating relationships. It’s essential to maintain a sense of humor with your partner, sharing in blunders of miscommunication and being able to laugh at your situation together. Knowing, understanding and accepting your partner is a long-term process and healthy relationships require respect for differences and awareness of each other’s strengths and weaknesses and positive and negative qualities.

6. Maintaining good personal boundaries and limits around other friendships and talking about realistic expectations creates greater comfort and a sense of security and doesn’t lead to mixed messages or signals. Keep in mind to end your conversations with appreciations, hopes and desires for the present and near future! This helps strengthen your coping abilities with the situation.