'Wake up sleepers, praise Allah': the mesaharati remains part of Ramadan tradition

Bismillahi Rahmanu Rahim

Banging his drum in the early hours of the morning during Ramadan to wake people before the daily fast, the mesaharati has been disappearing from Egypt's towns and villages in recent years.

"Wake-up sleepers, praise Allah!", calls the mesaharati as he strolls through the streets before dawn, banging his drums to wake people up for their sohour meal during Ramadan.

The neighborhood mesaharati has always shouldered the burden of waking people up, often by name, so they can have a late night meal in preparation for the next day's fast.
Before alarm clocks and mobile phones, the mesaharati's job was crucial, but even in the digital age, the mesaharati remains a steadfast Ramadan tradition.
While fading in some areas, the tradition is still alive and well in the popular districts of Old Cairo or in the beautiful city of Alexandria and started again since a few years in the city of Nasr. Surprisingly, you may even find some female mesaharatis competing in the male-dominated profession.

In rural areas, each mesaharati is usually in charge of waking up their entire village. He would ride a bicycle and stop at each alley, beating his drum to tell sleepers it's time for their pre-dawn meal.

The tradition has been maintained thanks to those who have refused to give up the job they take on for only one month a year. Still, one wonders why the tradition of the mesaharati has persisted for so long?
"We were handed down the job by our parents and grandparents, says Saber El Mesaharati, who has been in charge of El Darb El Gedid area in Sayeda Zeinab for the past 35 years.

"My mother was a mesaharati. My brother and I used to follow her on her route as she woke people up in this area for decades. My brother is now responsible for the Darb Elgamamiz area, he said.
Saber is responsible for El Darb El Gedid area, and pitches a small tent near the Sidi El Gineidi Mosque for the duration of Ramadan. Saber used to live in the area but had to move because his house was badly affected by the earthquake that hit the capital in 1992. Now he's living in Salam City and works as a painter.

Every year he comes back to El Darb El Gedid at the residents' request to wake them up for sohour each night. Everyone in the area knows the place near the mosque is his temporary home, and the municipality officials wouldn't dare ask him to move an inch.
"This is because the residents would never be able to find another mesaharati, explained Saber. "Don't underestimate our job. To be a mesaharati, you have to know every building in the district. You have to be able to remember the residents' names, walk long distances, and call out loudly so your voice can reach the top floors. This is why it isn't that easy to replace one mesaharati with another.

"You can't be a mesaharati job in a district you're not familiar with. This Ramadan I was asked to work in Dar El Salam, but I simply refused because I don't know the place.
Saber starts his tour of the town at 1 am so that he can finish in time for the dawn prayers.
Question is, do people really depend on Saber more than their alarm clocks?
"Not really, he said, "Very few do, but mostly the mesaharati walks along beating his drum and calling out to the townspeople because it triggers a kind of joy with kids who have come to associate Ramadan nights with the mesaharati.

He recalled, "One time a man who lived on the fourth floor asked me to come up. I thought he was going to tip me, but it turns out his daughter just wanted to see the mesaharati. It's one way of encouraging children to love Ramadan.
There is no guarantee that the residents will tip him, but sometimes parents give him money so he would call out to their children by name. Still, some people give the mesaharati a eidaya (a monetary gift offered during the Eid holiday).

At the end of Ramadan, Saber packs up his tent and heads back home to Salam City with his wife Om Mohamed, who insists on accompanying him to look after his needs.
"There is no Ramadan without a mesaharati, insists Saber.
"My only wish is to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca. I am doing a religious duty for peanuts and the little I aspire to is to go to Mecca before I die, says Saber.

El Mesaharaty in Nasr City 

The mesaharati of Nasr City has will start again his job in this Ramadan. Roaming the streets, he tries to reach out to the residents to remind them of Sohour time (sohour is the meal before sunrises). The job has become rather difficult and insignificant in the noisy streets of the big cities.

It has become very rare to hear a real mesaharati, the man who traditionally wakes people up before sunrise during Ramadan in order to eat before fasting starts. Indeed, the mesaharati has become something of a dying profession, even though it has been practised since the early days of Islam.

The first mesaharati is believed to have been Bilal Ibn Rabah, one of the Prophet Mohamed's companions, who was well known for his harmonious voice. Since Ibn Rabah's time, however, a harmonious voice has not always sufficed, and later the mesaharati used a small drum, calling out people's names in order to wake them for sohour, the last meal before sunrise in Ramadan.

Later still, it sometimes became difficult even to walk in the city streets, what with the noise and the traffic. Happily, people today have other wake-up calls to choose from, with televisions, mobiles and alarm clocks all at hand. All this has contributed to the decline of the mesaharati 's trade, even though many people still love to hear one.

 

One mesaharati who continues in the ancient ways is 48-year-old Rabea Hussein, who walks through the streets of Nasr City every night in Ramadan from half past one in the morning until quarter past three, banging his drum and calling on people to wake.

His nightly round starts in Abu Dawoud Al-Dhaheri Street, moving to the Hadiqat Al-Tifl (the children's park) and the Institute of Social Services in Ahmed Fakhri Street, before returning to Hassan Al-Maamoun Street to finish. Hussein wears the traditional clothing of turban, galabiya and scarf, and he has worked in the district for 13 years as an employee of the local mosque, though that last Ramadan was the first time he has been employed as a mesaharati.

Hussein first entered the profession by helping a friend, the mesaharati of his hometown, the village of Abbad Sharona in Minya in Upper Egypt. "Ahmed Saleh, head of the Wa Islamah Association, proposed that I work in Nasr City as mesaharati this Ramadan. I liked the idea, so they provided me with a drum and I started working," Hussein comments.

Wa Islamah, a charitable association, carries out activities in seven Egyptian governorates, among them finding foster parents for orphaned children, running educational programmes, distributing clothes to the needy, helping to cover the medical costs of those not able to afford them, and helping school pupils and women to memorise the Quran. The association has many supporters from the field of business and sport, including football stars Sayed Abdel-Hafiz and Ahmed Koshari.

Hussein says that because he is responsible for a fairly large area, he likes to start early, at half past one rather than three in the morning. "I myself barely have time to eat before beginning to fast again during Ramadan. One day I couldn't find the time to eat anything at all, as I was late on my round," he says.

When he worked as mesaharati in his village, he used to sing religious songs and call people by their names. This is not possible in the different circumstances of Nasr City, Hussein says, because of the district's size and the number of people living there. "However, if I do know someone, then I call him by his name. The children also ask me to call them by their names," he says.

Hussein loves the work, which he sees both as a way of drawing closer to Allah and as a way of helping people. "Many people wake up as soon as they hear my drum. Two days ago, I didn't go along Mahmoud Ghoneim Street as usual, and people were quite upset because their children had been waiting for me. A few days ago some Arab tourists in Egypt asked me if they could have their photographs taken with me, saying that they liked to spend Ramadan in Egypt because of the presence of the mesaharati."

As Hussein does his rounds at night, many children and some adults can be seen watching him from their balconies. Sometimes children clap along with him as he passes.

According to Hani Abdel-Ghani, a member of Wa Islamah and a Nasr City resident, Hussein's round was small at the beginning, but when residents expressed their plaudits for his work the association decided to expand it.

For 11-year-old Louay Khaled, who lives in an 11th-floor flat in the area, it is important to stay awake during Ramadan to see the mesaharati pass by. "It is better to have a mesaharati in Ramadan than not to have one, and I very much enjoy seeing him," he said.

However, while the children and many adult residents of the district like the idea of having a traditional mesaharati during Ramadan, others see another side. One resident, a student at the Faculty of Commerce at Ain Shams University, thinks that a mesaharati should work in traditional areas, where he knows the residents, rather than in middle-class areas where he does not.

However, despite such criticisms, Ahmed Saleh, head of Wa Islamah, insists that having a mesaharati in areas like Nasr City is important because it can contribute to reviving and strengthening religious traditions.

"We weren't sure that the idea would work when we started it, and we were even half expecting it to fail. But to our pleasure and surprise people liked it," Saleh said. 

El Mesharaty or El Mesaharaty remains until today the connection of people with the old past, with traditions, memories, childhood, fanous (the special lamp of Ramadan). Every Muslim is expecting to hear the drum of el Mesharaty waking up the people in time for Sohour. And in every night in Ramadan, the Mesharaty comes to remind us that we have to let all away and start our day in the name of Allah - Bismillahi Rahmanu Rahim.

Simple, with modesty, for the happiness of Allah, el Mesharaty is doing his wonderful job and he knows, that each house is waiting patiently for him, in the night...

Khodragy? Fakahaany? Ba2al?

Khodragy? Fakahaany? Ba2al? What could possibly mean this? I assure you that all of you have seen or met these 3 characters (yes, you have already a clue - it is about 3 characters that it is impossible not to be seen in our daily life).

 Vegetables and fruit seller

Khodragy, Fakahaany and Ba2al are very popular and famous in Egypt, as in other parts of the world too, but under other identities and in some places, a little more modernized (this thing with modern it is not all the time the best choice and sure not all the time brings that "plus" that was missing; sometimes, old keeps the taste and the quality of the things; you will understand me well while you will read this article).

Khodragy is the vegetables seller, Fakahaany is the fruits seller and Ba2al is the seeds and beans seller. 

First time I came in Alexandria, I remember that every morning I use to see from the window of mama and baba's home the vegetables seller or the fruits seller passing under the window and ringing a little bell to make the women hear them and come to the window to see their products. Usually the clear sound of the bell it is adjusted by their voices, - “Potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, onioooooooooooon!” - because who don't know to sell his products, returns home with empty pockets.

Fresh vegetables home delivered

Every time I was jumping to the window to see the beautiful colors show from above and to clear my eyes in the most fresh view I ever seen! Above of this, the flavor of fresh fruits and vegetables, just picked up, was always making me droll... yes people! DROLL! Because I am a fruits and vegetables lover (on our wedding day, I asked my husband as a gift a big water melon! So, what you expect???).

I was looking and measuring each fruit and each vegetable with my eyes from the second floor of the building. I still remember how during my first visit in Alexandria, the flavor of fresh strawberries was kidnap me completely! 

You can see these men carrying the big cargo on the streets hoping that today they will have Insha Allah a good day in market. I never saw a woman as a street seller for fruits and vegetables and it is understandable - it must be a strong person who can carry all those kilos even if they use a carriage to do this attached to a bicycle, or sometimes using just a sort of big handcart which they push it with their own hands; so indeed it must be a man to handle with this effort.

Street seller with handcart

Evening street seller in Cairo

Looking to them, I noticed that between the street sellers, are also young ones and old ones, so old some of them - that you can even think - from where they still have the power to carry all this cargo every day? (because they do this every day - they don t have day off or holiday; they have just days of work, to be able to support their families, sometimes too numerous to can be maintain from street trade). 

Yet so, they know that if they return home without money, the family will not have the necessary things to live; this is the reason why also the young ones, just recently married or even not married chose to be street sellers and they walk everyday for hours, starting early in the morning, until the afternoon and even in the evening. But they know that people buy their products in the morning and the chances to sell something after this, during the day light or in the evening, decrease because of their perishables products (under the merciless heat's sun, the vegetables and fruits lose their vitality and not just once I saw from the window, the street sellers wetting their products, trying like this to extend the freshness of fruits and vegetables... but in the end, the sun wins).

Street seller in Alexandria

The sun lets marks not just on the vegetables and on the fruits... but also on the face of the street sellers: their skin darkened by the sun and aged by time, make you see real lessons of life and feel ashamed while you dare to complain that you die because of the heat on your way to your office (where you have air conditioner like at home) or on your way to return home... or maybe just when you go out to buy something! And not just this... if you once have the chance to buy something from these people, look to their hands and it is impossible not to see the marks of the land working, the callus on their palms from carrying the huge cargo everyday... some of them are weighed down by the life worries and by the many kilos they push or drag after them every day. Passing slowly on the street, dressed in their grey or white kaftans, wearing a hat or not and comfortable shoes, the street sellers are always ready to serve you in the best way (but you can always have the other option - to go to the market and pick up from there).

Many women chose to buy it directly from the window. You can see bellow of the windows baskets on a long string, rope coiled up and ready for when the fruit and vegetable sellers come. You can see windows open,  housewives look down.  Most of the heads of these women are covered in scarves.  They yell down, inquiring prices and freshness:"bekam kelo el batates?w el batates di ataftaha emta?"

Housewife buying products from the street seller from her window

The baskets gets lowered.  The vegetable man places his produce inside.  The women pull them hand over hand up to their second or third or fourth floor apartments.  They haul them inside, take out their purchases, then re lower them with money.

About el Ba2al - well you can see them on the street too and as a memory from Egypt, first time when I was in Alexandria, I received as a gift, a sculpture representing el Ba2al from Egypt :). That time my husband told me that el Ba2al is a so famous figure in Egypt :).

Seeds seller in Cairo

This is Heaven... for me :D

Coconut seller

Yet so, no matter how many problems they face and how hard is their life, the street sellers never forget to smile to you and to invite you to taste from their products before you buy, to make sure that you will be satisfied with your choice and that next time, you will buy from them again. I think now to the market sellers from back home - every time I was going me or my father or mama to buy something... no matter from what market, there could not be possible to chose your products and put it in your bag with your hand! Just touching the products a little bit to check the quality, would go nuts the sellers and make them bawl out to you - how you dare to touch his products? you want to spoil his work?"... And of course, the seller was always the one who picked up for you (many times you could find damaged fruits or vegetables inside and if you point that, with a big lack of respect, they would say to you, that if you don t like it you can chose from someone else!!! :O :O :O Lack of respect on my own money?? What is this? Beside the high price that sometimes was making you feel that you deal with thieves!!!).

Fresh fruits

Fresh vegetables

My parents were always proud people and never let the opportunity to others to show them lack of respect. So, when they were facing a situation like this, they always said: "Let's go somewhere else! The lake has enough fish for all of us" - trying to point out that we can buy from others too, the same products and even in better quality). After supermarkets appeared, we started to get use to chose from there, even that we many times missed the local products.

I remember that in our wedding day, while we were getting ready to go to the Ministry of Justice to marry, I went down with my husband, mama and baba. Mama stopped for a few minutes to chose from the seller some delicious products and guess what?! After mama picked up all and payed him, she asked him kindly to take the fruits up, where our niece was waiting to receive them. I can't imagine something like this in Romania, except maybe if I would pay him the road and double price for the fruits and bonus for his effort!

Vegetables seller waiting customers

Kindness in a smile

While mama was choosing the products, she told to the seller that I am the wife of her son and we are in our way to close the marriage to the Egyptian authorities. The old man prayed for us and wished us the best in our new life as a couple. The happiness and joy for us was so visible in his eyes... with all his worries stamped on his face, he still had time and power to be happy for other people.

All the parts fresh fruits and vegetables

Sometimes I use to watch with mama from the window, the street seller passing under the flat and mama was asking me to look and to tell her what I want to eat from there. Many times, without even asking me, baba came home with kilos of fruits, knowing that I love this so much (every time when he use to go out, baba asked me if there is something that I need... yes, from the beginning I felt at home).

Kaftan, street seller, vegetables, fruits

Kindness and politesse were all the time 2 qualities so important for me and so well searched by me in people. Sometimes I found this, sometime I didn t. Sometimes I found a sort of masked politesse, but under a vicious mind, that could make you feel disgusted! You know that type: I ll help you, but what you got for me?

AlhamdulilAllah, the best persons in my life are way far from cheap behavior like this! My parents always protected me from people like this until I learn to do this myself and now my husband is like my knight - always ready to protect me and to stand up beside me... even to fight with a water melon which don t let me to cut him in pieces quick and fast as I want!

Laylat al Qadr or the night when Koran was send down to Earth

 Bismillahi Rahmanu Rahim

Laylat al Qadr - it was first time around year 610, on April 6th, when Koran descended to Earth with full blessings from Allah.

This night has a very special meaning to me because from the name of this night, my Islamic name comes too: Kadreyah. First time I heard this name when was my husband spoke to me about his family and he presented to me each one of them by name and by pictures (this was previous my first visit to his family with months). He started with Mama from Egypt - mama Kadreyah and I fall in love with her name and kept in my memory - even that it is not a common name at all :). I kept saying to my husband how much I love this name and what beautiful melody it has.

So my husband, spoke with me about the meaning of the name and his roots.

And so I am today...

Nights are the time which Allah `azza wa jall has designated for the attainment of spiritual blessing and power. Allah told His Beloved in the Quran: Rise to pray in the night except a little (73:1) 

Allah ordered Prophet (s) to spend most of the night in worship in order to prepare his heart for the tremendous revelation of Quran. This night worship was the means for the Prophet (s) to ascend and to attain more and more power. His Companions would join him for the night prayer and would be rising up in station and spirituality: 


Surely We will make to descend on you a weighty Word. Surely the rising by night is the firmest way to tread and the best corrective of speech. (73, 1-5)
Laylat al-Qadr is a holy night.

All nights of Ramadan are holy nights but Laylat al-Qadr is the holiest night of this holy month. It is also the holiest night among all other holy nights throughout the entire year. It comes only once a year and Allah Almighty grants to His most praised, most respected and most beloved servant Sayyidina Muhammad (s) this holy night, the Night of Power. About this night, God, the Glorious and Exalted said: 

In the name of God, the Beneficent the Merciful
Indeed We sent it [the Holy Quran] down on the Night of Power.
What will convey to you what the Night of Power is like!
Better is the Night of Power than a thousand months in that Night the angels and the Spirit descend by the permission of their Lord for every affair.
Peace it is, till the break of dawn.
[Quran, Chapter 97]

"Night of Power" is a very strange translation for "Laylat al-Qadr" but it attributes to it a good meaning: whoever may attain the blessings of this holy night should attain perfect power in his spiritual life. One can attain perfect power by means of this night because its value is more than one thousand months of worshiping. 

Every worship performed increases the spiritual power of people and in this night any worship is going to be valued as one thousand months of worshiping on any other night. It is condensed power. God, the Almighty, makes it a mighty night by placing in it such incredible power, making it a much mightier night than other nights. Allah Almighty says it is much more valuable than one thousand months of worshiping. That means Allah Almighty granted such huge power to that night. 

It is just such a mighty night which is highly respected and given such a high value by the Lord Almighty. It is so mighty that it is said that it is the most mighty night, that Night of Power. Allah Almighty puts in it power for His servants to come closer to His Divine Presence. In a short time a that great power adorns worshipers in this night and they may be able to penetrate through the entire heavens and reach the Divine Presence. 

People on this night are going to be on several different levels. No doubt we are on the lowest level, so we are hoping in this night to attain the honor and illumination granted in it. When we reach a higher level and as it is a holy night in the heavens as well, we will begin to sense something [of the great power being manifested] on this night. Whoever is at the highest spiritual level must be present for this night in the Divine Presence of the Lord. 

 

That appearance will occur in a matter of seconds, perhaps within a single second. Perhaps one second is an enormous unit of time [in comparison] to that moment. It may be more than a second or much less, but it is an instant in time when an appearance from Divine Presence is manifested to creation. When that Divine Appearance manifests (Ar. tajalli), no one will remain standing throughout the heavens and the earth. Everything falls into prostration, throwing themselves down in prostration for that moment. That manifestation of Divine Power--that Divine Light--appears, and whoever is prepared and who has also been invited to attend that appearance sees it and falls in prostration.

Everything in that moment falls in prostration (Ar. sajda): all animals--even ants, even elephants, even giraffes, even dogs--on that night they are not sleeping but are hurrying to make prostration on experiencing that divine manifestation. All trees-- even buildings--bow down in prostration and then rise up to their original positions. This is mentioned in Quran: 

And unto Allah falleth prostrate whosoever is in the heavens and the earth, willingly or unwillingly, as do their shadows in the morning and the evening hours. (ar-R`ad, 15).

and

Hast thou not seen that unto Allah payeth adoration whosoever is in the heavens and whosoever is in the earth, and the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and the hills, and the trees, and the beasts, and many of mankind, while there are many unto whom the doom is justly due. He whom Allah scorneth, there is none to give him honour. Lo! Allah doeth what He will.(al-Hajj, 18).

May God forgive us because we are sinners. Every few minutes, or even every few seconds we commit so many sins, thus we are in need of our Lord's forgiveness for the honor of His Most Praised Servant Sayyidina Muhammad, peace and blessings of God be upon him. This holiest of nights is granted to him from his Lord Almighty Allah. In it all powers adorn him, all lights illuminate him and all angels come to him. the Archangel Gabriel comes to him, and he is dressed with countless honors on this holy night. The angels ask forgiveness [from Allah for people] for the sake of the master of humanity (Sayyid al Bashar), to the Owner of creation (Rabb al-Ka'inat).

For his honor, may God forgive us and take away our bad states. May Allah change our conditions from bad to good and change everything in us to be for His Sake. May we be good servants, obedient servants, beloved servants, respected servants, praised servants. Try to be servants such as this. For that reason, attend humbly to worship on that night as our Beloved Prophet (s) directed us: 

"Whosoever offers voluntary prayers during the Night of Power out of belief and expecting from Allah its reward will have his past sins forgiven." [Bukhari and Muslim]  

Now I would like to pray the Prayer of Recollection (salat ul-tasabih) to express a little bit of praising from our side to glorify our Lord Almighty Allah. That glorifying Allah Almighty in salat ul-tasabih consists four cycles of prayer (raka'ats) in which we are glorify our Lord 300 times by saying "Glory be to God, all praise be to God, there is no god but the One God Allah, God is Most Great!" (Ar. "Subhanallahi wal hamdulillahi wa la ilaha illa Allahu wa Allahu Akbar."  

May Allah Almighty glorify His beloved and most praised servant, Sayyidina Muhammad (S), and may mercy from His endless mercy oceans fall on you, and fall on our descendents, and fall on our ancestors, fall upon east and west, and may its blessing fall upon all from North to South, upon all oceans and upon all continents. 

Allah Allah...Karim Allah...Aziz Allah...Subhan Allah...Sultan Allah Oh our Lord You are the only Sultan. Raise up Your Work and bring down the work of destructive disbelief and evil which seeks to harm Your human beings and all other creations by means of a destined appointed and authorized sultan from your Divine Presence. 

Bihurmat al habeeb wa bi hurmat al fatiha.
[for the sake of the Beloved, for his sake we recite the Opening Chapter of Quran]

Waiting for Ramadan

Bismillahi Rahmanu Rahim

Ramadan is approaching. What are the practical steps that can be taken by Muslims to prepare themselves for this blessed month? 

Here are some special advices from Sheikh Ahmad Kutt (Allah be satisfied with him).

Allah Almighty says,(The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance for mankind, and clear proofs of the guidance, and the Criterion (of right and wrong).)(Al-Baqarah 2: 185)

Every Muslim should prepare himself to welcome the blessed month of Ramadan by strengthening his relationship with the Qur’an, busing himself with the spirit of fasting, and recharging his spiritual battery to prepare himself to make the whole blessed month of Ramadan a real occasion of sincere obedience.

Ramadan is an event that occurs in the life of the faithful, as individuals and as an Ummah, once a year. It is intended by Allah to help us to recharge our spiritual batteries and thus prepare us for the great mission of realizing His will on earth. Therefore, in order to benefit from Ramadan, we may do well to prepare for it by opening our hearts and minds to embrace it. Let me offer a few tips:

1.We should empower ourselves by learning as much as we can about the precise laws as well as the benefits of fasting.

2.We should ensure that we gain true benefits from our fasting, let us make sure to realize the spirit of fasting: this can only be done by abstaining, not only from food, drink, and sex, but also by strictly restraining our minds, hearts as well as our eyes, ears, hands, tongue, and so on.

3.We must embrace the spirit of fasting as stressed in Hadith: to be charitable and compassionate as much as we can.

4.We should strengthen our relationship with the Qur’an; for Ramadan is the month of the Qur’an.

5.We should engage indhikrand condition ourselves to make it second nature.

6.Last but not least, we should build up our community through acts of charity and compassion and extending help to those in need as much as we can.

Let us pray that we come out of Ramadan with our faith recharged, gaining strength in our faith and commitment and relationship with Allah.

Untitled

It is very important to tell your friends what you think and correct their errors. This attitude springs from compassion and is the greatest service that you can bring to your friends. But this way is extremely difficult. It's easy to find strengths and weaknesses of a person and tell him what you think. Many people think they are good if the others say things that others find unpleasant or difficult to speak. If they are not listen and respected, they believe there is nothing to do. But this attitude is unworthy. It's like making someone ashamed, gossiping about him/ her.

If you want to tell someone what you think, you have to see first if the person is available to listen. Therefore, you should start by approaching her, waking her trust in you. Aboard those issues that the person likes and look the best time to talk, so to be well understood. Think well before acting and decide if maybe it would be better to communicate in writing what you said, or before a moment of separation. Praise his/ hers qualities and use any way to encourage it, perhaps speaking to them about your own flaws without being back to his, so to realize which ones are his.

Act like you give water to a thirsty man, and so your opinion will correct mistakes. This art is really difficult. If a person has defects as an old habit for many years, it will certainly not correct. I personally lived the experience. A great vassal evidence of compassion is when he lives in friendship with his comrades, helping them correct their mistakes and put in unison to serve their master. How can you expect someone to turn for the better if you make that person to feel ashamed?